My husband and I got married in 2007 and started our journey in life as a team.  I could never have imagined how much our little team of two would be challenged.

We started trying to conceive after a year of marriage. After a year of disappointment with no results, we were at our wit’s end.

We had had enough of being told to “just relax” and “just don’t think about it.”

I reached out to a colleague and she told me about her in vitro fertilization (IVF) success at FCI.  I was very apprehensive because I didn’t want to admit something was wrong. We made our first appointment and were optimistic that the first IUI would do the trick. But after three failed IUIs, we made the difficult decision to go ahead with IVF.

IVF was a painstaking process, and at the end, I still wasn’t pregnant. We were devastated. There aren’t words to describe this type of disappointment and despair.

We were advised by FCI to take a break, and my husband thought it might be best too. But the fighter in me didn’t want to stop until I was pregnant.

After a frozen embryo transfer (FET), we were blessed with our first miracle baby, Lucas.  I will never forget the joyful voice of our nurse telling me that I was pregnant.

A year and a half after Lucas was born, we decided to try for another child. After three failed frozen cycles, I began to lose hope. I remember meeting with Dr. Lederer and he said, “You are the patients that keep me up at night because everything looks great on paper, and no success thus far.”

With those words, hope rushed back to me. I knew I had a doctor that was as passionate about giving us a baby as we were about having one. 

I could see in his eyes that he felt our frustration, disappointment, and sadness, and that he was going to do all he could to take that away for us.

We only had enough embryos for one more frozen cycle and could not afford another fresh cycle. This was our last chance.

Dr. Lederer called me in to his office for a special meeting before our last cycle. He told me about his research into a new protocol of medicine from Colorado that was used for women with multiple failed frozen cycles.  He also told me of a surgery that could improve my chances. In both fallopian tubes I had hydrosalpinx, meaning the tubes were blocked and filled with fluid.

I was scared and overwhelmed, but I trusted him.  I went with all of his recommendations and followed the new protocol of medicine, even though I was his first patient to do so. I also started doing acupuncture twice a week and made it my mission to think only positive thoughts.

The day came and our last embryos made their way back home to me. I remember laying on the acupuncture table after the transfer and a gentle peace came over me. There was no worry, I was at peace and knew everything would be okay.

We found out that I was pregnant with twins and although I worried about how I would manage, we were ecstatic that our efforts were successful. Nine months later, Julianna and Jacquelyn were born.

The time that I spent at FCI was the most difficult time of my life. While trying to get pregnant with Lucas, my dream job was eliminated. While trying to conceive Julianna and Jacquelyn, my father had a brain aneurysm. 

Through it all, the support of FCI helped me through, and also helped me achieve the family of my dreams. The FCI team holds a very special place in my heart.

I remember meeting with Dr. Lederer and crying tears of joy and appreciation, and I remember seeing in his eyes how happy he was for us. He said to me, “This is why I love my job.”  I know that he is looking down on all of his miracles he has created from heaven, and I know that all of his patients look up to him and thank God for him and his work.

If you’re trying to have a baby and feeling lost, my advice is to go with what your gut is telling you. When you look in your doctor’s or nurse’s eyes and you see the passion they have for their job, you will know you are making the right decision.

Best of luck to all who are trying to conceive to have the family they dream of.  I hope this blog finds you in a peaceful and hopeful place.

This patient story is shared in memory of Dr. Kevin J. Lederer who passed away in 2013.

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