From Personal Struggle to Public Triumph: How One Woman Turned Infertility into Advocacy
In the bustling political landscape of Springfield, Illinois, two passionate lobbyists, Stephanie and her husband, Ryan, crossed paths. Their bond, built on shared interests and aspirations, eventually led them down the aisle. Little did they know that their union would spark a journey that would transcend their personal struggles and ignite change for countless others facing similar battles.
After settling in Chicago, the couple excitedly embarked on a new chapter in their lives, starting a family. However, Stephanie never anticipated the hurdles that lay ahead. As months went by without a positive pregnancy test, her enthusiastic outlook began to waver.
She looked for options to help them get pregnant, starting with ovulation kits to find the optimal time to conceive. What started as a quest for solutions turned into a journey of self-discovery. Stephanie explained, “After months of not being successful trying, I decided I was going to start to invest in some of these gadgets that tell you when you’re ovulating, but I was shocked because all of those require you to have at least a 24-day cycle. I didn’t know at the time that my cycle was really short, only 21 days, which I learned is considered outside of normal. That’s when I started to question whether or not things were okay.”
Stephanie found herself in an unfamiliar situation and wasn’t sure what to do, so she sought guidance from another infertility warrior. She shared, “I called my friend who a few years before had gone through IVF and asked her for her doctor. And that was how I got to Fertility Centers of Illinois (FCI). She’d used FCI when she went through IVF.” That phone call led Stephanie to Dr. Jennifer Hirshfeld-Cytron, a reproductive endocrinologist at FCI.
Stephanie’s Infertility Journey
In her search for answers, she was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. This revelation felt like a personal failing for Stephanie. She expressed her frustration saying, “Everything on my husband’s side was very normal, and that was really difficult for me because I felt like I was the sole reason we may not be able to have a family.”
When deciding on a treatment plan, Stephanie and her husband agreed that they would do three medicated intrauterine insemination (IUI) procedures, and if those were unsuccessful, they would move onto in vitro fertilization (IVF).
Leading up to the IUI, Stephanie took Clomid, an ovulation-stimulating medication, which also brought unforeseen challenges, particularly the mental and emotional strain often referred to as the “Clomid crazies.” This side effect was not something Stephanie was prepared for, adding a layer of difficulty to an already taxing process. To make matters even more difficult, they were navigating treatment during the busy holiday season, balancing appointments between work and holiday festivities which created an added layer of stress.
Despite their struggles, the first cycle of IUI seemed promising, resulting in pregnancy. However, the joy was short-lived as the pregnancy was determined not to be viable, marking a deeply painful moment in Stephanie’s journey.
Up until this point, only a select few were privy to the couple’s struggles. The isolation was magnified by her conscious withdrawal from friends and family to concentrate on the treatments. The societal pressure to start a family and incessant inquiries about, “When are you going to have a baby?” only added to the burden, driving Stephanie to navigate this journey in silence, a path she now strongly advises against.
In the wake of the miscarriage, Stephanie and her partner made the decision to be more open about their struggles, a choice that was met with an outpouring of support and understanding, although the feeling of isolation persisted due to the unique nature of their experiences.
Despite the challenges, their perseverance paid off with the successful creation of a viable embryo from the second IVF cycle, ultimately leading to the birth of their baby boy in May 2020. She recalled the emotional moment of meeting her son after everything she had gone through to bring him into this world, saying “I remember just tears of joy streaming down my face. I was so incredibly happy because I was a mom, finally.”
Finding Support in the Infertility Community
Even in the shadows of her struggles, Stephanie found unexpected gifts: community and purpose. A fertility yoga class at Pulling Down the Moon became the venue for intimate connections with others on a similar journey and creating lifelong friendships. These relationships, forged in shared hardship, provided solace and strength.
Stephanie cheerfully remarked, “One of the women I met is my absolute best friend. We talk every single day.” Reflecting on the fortuitous experience she shared, “And I always joke that it was really hard for me as an adult to make friends, but I made more friends going through infertility than I have any other way as an adult. And it came in so handy too, once I did have my son because we were all having kids at the beginning of the pandemic. And so, I also had this built in support for others that were navigating having a child in the middle of a global pandemic and what that meant, and just also the isolation and loneliness that we went through during that experience.”
Championing Infertility Rights in Illinois
Drawing on her expertise as a lobbyist, Stephanie transformed her pain into advocacy. Her eyes were opened to the disparities and limitations in fertility coverage, so her first attempt at lobbying for fertility treatment was aimed at creating a clear explanation of insurance benefits. She recounted, “When I first received my diagnosis, everything I read on the internet said, ‘Well, you’re lucky you live in Illinois. And Illinois requires fertility treatment coverage.’ And so, you don’t at least have to worry about how you’re going to pay for coverage. But that ended up not being true for me because while I did live in Illinois, my insurance policy wasn’t written in Illinois and so, it didn’t have mandated coverage.”
Despite the mandate in the state of Illinois, less than 20% of insurance policies are mandated to provide fertility coverage. This revelation made her aware of the broader issue at hand; it was not just her personal battle, but a systemic problem that put many people in a financially precarious position. She sought a solution to the problem of individuals being caught off guard when diagnosed with the lack of fertility treatment coverage in their insurance policy and hoped to raise awareness to avoid others experiencing the same roadblocks.
Through tireless efforts and leveraging her legislative knowledge, she also championed changes in Illinois law, solidifying IVF and other assisted reproductive technologies as fundamental rights. Stephanie helped draft portions of the Illinois Reproductive Health Act, which declares that a fertilized egg, embryo or fetus does not have independent rights. “Illinois is actually the first state in the country that has a law in the books that protects IVF, that protects your decision for what you want to do with your embryos,” she explained.
Reflecting on her accomplishments, she proclaimed, “I am incredibly proud of the work that I did to codify IVF protections into law in Illinois and make them and assisted reproductive technologies. So, that’s everything from IUIs to surrogacy, basically anything that is included in your treatment as you were treating for infertility is now a fundamental right here in Illinois.”
The culmination of Stephanie’s advocacy wasn’t just a personal triumph but a beacon of hope for future generations. The legislation she helped pass now serves as a model, encouraging other states to recognize and address the needs of those battling infertility.
Another Little Miracle
Stephanie’s story doesn’t end there. She welcomed another baby boy into the world in September 2021. Much to her surprise and delight, she became pregnant this time without the help of IVF.
Her journey, marked by resilience and transformation, is a testament to the power of vulnerability and the impact of advocacy. Her story is an inspiring reminder for individuals to seek support, challenge stigmas, and advocate for inclusive healthcare policies. For those walking the thorny path of infertility, Stephanie’s experience serves as a reminder: you are not alone, your struggles are valid, and change is possible when we unite our voices.
