How I found peace & self-discovery on a difficult infertility journey
Why do you want to share your story?
I want to try to help inspire anyone who is trying to have children not to give up, as I know it can be a dark path sometimes. The fertility path is not an easy one, but I feel that it can be a growing experience filled of self-discovery and healing.
Why did you trust Fertility Centers of Illinois?
My cousin recommended FCI to me as she had many friends with positive, successful stories. She also knew our physician personally and assured me she was the best. (She was right!)
How would you describe your experience with your physician?
She was so positive that she made me believe again that we could do this! And we did!
What helped you get through treatment?
Yoga and meditation were fundamental for getting me through treatment. My spirituality helped me have faith in my path. Often I asked, “why me, why me!!??” But when you begin to accept your path, it makes it all easier. Yoga is like medicine for me. It helps me to relax my body and my mind and to breathe. When I finally breathe, I remember that it’s all going to be okay.
Do you have any words of hope for others?
Vittorio in Italian means victory. He is our victory after over 5 years of trying to have a baby. Rio is his nickname, which in Spanish means river. Since my husband and I met in Spain, that honors this. Also, during the journey of trying to have kids my mantra was “always go with the flow”, like a river. Even when there are rapids. Rio will always remind us of the moral of the story…if you go with the flow of the river of your lives, you will receive your victory.
The fertility path is not an easy one, but I feel that it can be a growing experience filled of self-discovery and healing. Along the way I… consulted shamans in Guatemala, did acupuncture, reflexology, took Chinese herbs, had ayurvedic treatments in India, did yoga, became a yoga teacher, did a Vipassana meditation retreat in Sri Lanka, fertility diets, visualizations, mantras, vision boards, read self help books, did Family Constellations, worked with my inner child and of course confided in modern western medicine…what a journey it has been. It was like a treasure hunt, and I found my treasure and I am richer for it. I am also going to be bold and say that there must be a different, special sense of love for your child for those that have been through this.
My advice is to accept that this is our path…find the meaning within the journey on your way to your little one! Don’t give up…you’re on the way…
Tell us about your little miracle!
His name is Vittorio. Even though I felt connected to him during pregnancy, I was a little worried about whether I would feel connected to him knowing that he isn’t genetically linked to me. I can say that the moment I saw him, I fell in love with this sweet, tender soul. He is such a good baby and only cries when he wants something and stops once you give it to him.
He lets us sleep too! His smiles melt our hearts. I knew it would be joyful to have a baby, but it’s so much more than I thought. I can honestly say that it was worth the five years of hell I went through. Now I know why the other attempts didn’t work, because Vittorio had to be born. In hindsight, it all makes sense now. So for those trying, know that your miracle is in the making and that the perfect child is being created right now…faith and patience are important now.
